Some of you may remember that Soulja Boy's "Crank That" inspired spin-off songs and dances like the "Batman" and "Spider-Man" earlier this summer. I don't. Perhaps because I was too busy trying to figure out what "Superman That ..." meant.
A few weeks back rumors spread that "Superman..." refered to a sexual act in which the male ejaculates on the woman's back and then covers it with a sheet. I know! Soulja Boy immediately denied the rumors. Still, whether he likes it (admits it) or not, SB may not only have sparked a dance craze, but a series of superhero-related sex acts as well. I was talking to this shorty this weekend and she told me these kids done came up with some freaky stuff for Batman and Spider-Man. I know! As soon as I brought it up to my boys (we'll call them Stank Finatra and Grammy Davis Sr.), they decided to challenge freaks and make up their own spin-offs. Amazingly, I can't say they have too much time on their hands. It took less than 15 minutes. DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER! I know ya'll pretty good at that.
Cyclops That... We all know cyclopes have one eye. Sooooo...hmmmmmm... Phife Dawg's "Bust a nut inside your eye, to show you where I cum from" line from A Tribe Called Quest's "Scenario" probably sums this best.
Wolverine That...Or Logan That...Wolverine's adamantium claws can "cut" through anything. Furthermore, Logan has the ability to heal fast and age slowly. In other words, he lasts longer. So if you're Wolverinin' that...you're tearing it up for hours.
Juggernut That...Juggernaut is one of the most powerful superheroes around. He's big... PAUSE! He's huge, PAUSE! Ok, please tell me you understand what a juggernut is, because I refuse to explain further.
Flash Gordon That...Flash is a speedy little feller. It's a quickie.
"Rogue A N*gga Up!" Yet another X-man uh? You've seen her in action. Should Rogue touch another person without gloves on, she drains all their powers, or "sucks" the life out of them. What man doesn't like getting rogued up.
Ok, some of you comic book enthusiasts may find this funny or offensive. Regardles, Stank Finatra said something interesting. "Superman that hoe implies that you ain't getting none. Why Superman that hoe when you can Wolverine that... or Juggernut that..."
R.I.P. Pimp C