If only it was freaking Tamia. Unfortunately, I'm talking rodents, here. I've since gotten rid of the problem, but I'll never forget the first time I saw one in the crib.
It was my last apartment back in Jamaica, Queens. Mind you, I had never seen one in the house before, even as a kid. So one day, I'm walking into the kitchen when I see Jerry's punk ass just chilling near the stove. "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!" I screamed like a biatch, I swear. I ran back into the freaking living room all scared and then promptly called my landlord to let them know about the situation. They apologized and provided me with one of them glue traps (the best) and in no time, Jerry got evicted.
It changed my life, man. The next day I'm dosing off on the train and I suddenly jumped, thinking Jerry snuck up on me. Imagine my surprise when I got home and saw Jerry's cousin chillin near the stove again. "What the..." I had to smarten up. There was more than one and the stove indicated a pattern. I looked around the crib for holes and place traps in strategic places. But I wasn't scared anymore. Ohhhhhh no! I was walking around thinking I was all tough. I mean, the nerve of this dude to just sneak into the crib. He wasn't even paying rent. Soon enough, I caught Jerry's cousin and got sadistic on his ass. I pushed him into a ziplock box, took him outside by the trash and introduced him to my old Timbaland boot. I know it was messed up, but I was so pissed.
I have since moved and Jerry's ghost or any of his relatives have yet to visit (knock on wood). Best believe my paranoid ass covered up anything that looks like a hole. Now people, don't you dare front like you haven't dealt with Jerry's at least once. How did you get rid of him? Speak on it.