Monday, January 14, 2008

Crazy Stories: There's A Stranger In My House





If only it was freaking Tamia. Unfortunately, I'm talking rodents, here. I've since gotten rid of the problem, but I'll never forget the first time I saw one in the crib.

It was my last apartment back in Jamaica, Queens. Mind you, I had never seen one in the house before, even as a kid. So one day, I'm walking into the kitchen when I see Jerry's punk ass just chilling near the stove. "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!" I screamed like a biatch, I swear. I ran back into the freaking living room all scared and then promptly called my landlord to let them know about the situation. They apologized and provided me with one of them glue traps (the best) and in no time, Jerry got evicted.

It changed my life, man. The next day I'm dosing off on the train and I suddenly jumped, thinking Jerry snuck up on me. Imagine my surprise when I got home and saw Jerry's cousin chillin near the stove again. "What the..." I had to smarten up. There was more than one and the stove indicated a pattern. I looked around the crib for holes and place traps in strategic places. But I wasn't scared anymore. Ohhhhhh no! I was walking around thinking I was all tough. I mean, the nerve of this dude to just sneak into the crib. He wasn't even paying rent. Soon enough, I caught Jerry's cousin and got sadistic on his ass. I pushed him into a ziplock box, took him outside by the trash and introduced him to my old Timbaland boot. I know it was messed up, but I was so pissed.

I have since moved and Jerry's ghost or any of his relatives have yet to visit (knock on wood). Best believe my paranoid ass covered up anything that looks like a hole. Now people, don't you dare front like you haven't dealt with Jerry's at least once. How did you get rid of him? Speak on it.

3 comments:

Mistyblue said...

I've never had to deal with any of Jerry's relatives... UNTIL I MOVED TO NEW YORK! And the sad part is, my landlords acted like it was all in a day's work. I freaked out and never got over it. It got to the point where I couldn't even see any of Jerry's homeboys in the subway without getting paranoid. How did I get rid of them? I moved back to Houston!

Matou said...

LOL... I've never dealt with a Jerry til I briefly moved to Rat invested Irvington, NJ... Those joints walk around like cats....
But Thank God I'm back at home safe, sound, and Jerry Free...

Farrah said...

OMG...I'm having that issue right now. I personally don't use glue traps because when they get caught whose gonna throw it away. Not me..."N" to the Mothalovin Hell's "O"! And I am dead serious when I say this, I am scared shitless of Mickey, Jerry and Mighty Mouse.

You would think growing up in Brooklyn, I would have already adapted to that situation. You see in Brooklyn, mice are a part of the extended family.((((Hellooo Brooklyn))))

As a solution, I use POISON :-X
Some people don’t use poison cause the thing ends up dieing anywhere. But I just don’t want that thing to be all active and jumpy when I find it. I want those things dead. I considered getting a cat but that's just another mouth to feed. And to be honest between me and the mouse, I can't afford to feed anything else.