She looks stupid...
Today's subject line is being brought to you courtesy of Phife Dawg on A Tribe Called Quest's "Butter" (The Low End Theory).
You ain't never lie, Phife! My boy Mark texts me the other day and suggested to guest blog on colored contacts, an issue I was already slated to tackle in my upcoming "Turn Offs" entry. Issue? Yes, issue! It's that deep. Being a longtime natural eye color activist, I immediately accepted.
Considering that our women are the worst colored contact offenders, who better than a Black guy and an Indian dude to weigh in on the topic? I'll cut straight to the chase. You morons look like idiots! Your genetics obviously don't allow for your iris to be grey or purple, so knock it off. Other than the fact that my family (on my mother's side) has long suspected that there could be Chinese in our ancestry, I'm black. I'm healthy doo doo complected, so I like my eyes dark brown. Even when it's natural, I'm not a fan of light eyes. Maybe cause I'm allergic to cats. On that note, I'll let Mark speak his piece.
Back in the day one summer, my boy Toby and I hit Rum Jungle (Guyanese/West Indian Club in Queens). Everything's cool, we're having a good time, but before leaving Toby asks management the best night to hit the club. Out comes this Indian chick to answer his question.
Chick had four different colors up in her eyeballs. I'm talking hazel, green with tints of orange, red. It was like looking at a talking kaleidoscope. WTF. Damn color contact jerk! What are you hiding, baby? Brown eyes? I got 'em. Most of us in this world do. Naah, but you'd rather rock 1/4 of the shades of a Crayola 64 crayon box up in your eyes. Jesus.
To all the ladies, I plead with y'all: Be normal. No more color contacts! You don't see me walking around with blue eyes on Monday, green eyes on Tuesday, and blue-green on Wednesday. Nah, it's brown all the time! Be yourself!
Speak on it!