Wednesday, May 14, 2008

...Pause >>>>> No Homo




Unless I was quoting, I've never said, "no homo" a day in my life.

My thing was...I'm secure with my sexuality, so I didn't need a freakin' disclaimer. Hearing it annoyed the hell out of me. I didn't say "pause" much either. But it all changed when I started spending more time with my boys Hobbs, Roni and them. Them dudes just said "pause" after anything remotely resembling a homosexual reference. "Meet me by Western Beef, pause!" Mind you, Western Beef, pause, is a freakin' retail supermarket. And don't let them catch you slipping. They'll get in yo ass, pause!

One day Roni caught me slipping and he let me have it...pause! But he explained that he did it for the sport, nothing more, nothing less. Shoot! I've been playing ever since, and I stepped my game up after interviewing Dame Dash. When referring to his net worth, dude said something like, "it's liquid, I can't touch it, pause." Now you won't hear me say words like, "meat, beef, long, big, T-Pain, stiff, hard, thick, hit, down, dig, wood, suck, ride, swollow, poke, hole, ass, eat, touch, load, flexible" without saying pause immediately after. Ironically, we say it so smoothly now, that there's hardly any pause at all before saying pause.

The funny thing is, some people still seem confused when they hear us pausing all over the place. Some of the XXL staffers apparently didn't get it when my co-worker Jayson, who only pauses around me and Anslem, another co-worker, paused. Similarly, last weekend, we had to explain to our homegirls, Tiffanny, Anna and Kim, the whole logic behind "pause." So, just in case some of you guys aren't too familiar with it, allow me to demonstrate.

-"My schedule is full right now. But I should be pretty flexible, pause, next week."

-"I just got out of this test. It was so hard, pause."

-"Damn! That's a heavy load, pause."

-"I feel like eating meat, PAUSE²."

You get the gist. Speak on it.











10 comments:

Hobbs! said...

Thats hilarious..I'm not that bad though. It gotta be some obviously gay stuff said around me for me to say "Pause" or "No Homo". Plus the shit is all for fun, its funny to see a dude face when they get "paused".

Ron Mexico said...

i only "pause" around pausers who find it humorous.

otherwise, when i say i'm gonna take the whole footlong like a champ, i mean the shit.

Jesus Talks said...

I totally feel you, pause, on this. Pause is definitely better than NH.

Clark Kent said...

Pause on the whole post, HDott...

DREBOND said...

at this points, its been drawn overboard, with some cats saying pause for everything but it still funny when u catch a cat saying some gay ass shit without them knowing and u pause.At this point its just too funny.

O said...

That's word, I never say "no homo" or "pause" simply because I ain't wanna hop on Dip Set's dick. Homo! I'm an old school Brooklyn nigga and if something gay is said around me then best believe i'm pulling cards. Ain't no use for those phrases in my vocab unless a gay spanish dude who can't speak english kicks it to me (No homo) or i'm playing a videogame (Pause).

Farrah said...

So you take the whole footlong Mr. Mexico. LOL

My question is why mostly only dudes do that whole "pause" or "NH" thing? You don't hear girls saying "Can I get a wing and a breast...pause."

O said...

Girls don't say "Pause" or "NH" because women don't have wings and some don't have breasts. So they don't wanna offend they own. They real respectful like that.

Daruffian said...

thanks for letting people know its all about the sport!

Janee TMB said...

LOL. You definitely been pausing a lot lately. It is fun tho (That's what he said.)