Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Let's Play The Asshole Game...PAUSE of course!

So the homie Jesus has consistently been hitting the gym with me for at least a month.

We have our routine down by now. We hit the tredmill for a half hour and then the eleptical (with handles) for another half. It gets pretty busy on week nights, so by the time we get to the eleptical, they're occupied. This is where my juvenile streak comes in.

See, I'm a bit (read a whole lot) more blunt than Jesus. If you have anything over 5 minutes left on the machine, I'm kicking that ass off. Why should I be lenient? A while back, these fa'nooks tried to kick us off. While Jesus immiediately stepped off, I told dude to come back 'cause I had four minutes left. Unfair I know, but I can be anal (PAUSE²) like that.

Anyway! Lately, whenever we get to the eleptical, there's always one available and one occupied. I usuall run to the empty one to force Jesus to kick somebody off. It backfired yesterday, though. I get on the joint and start peddling and ...nothing! The joint didn't even work. Still, I kept going and used J's timer as a reference. Who cares if I don't see how many calories I'm burning? I'm still sweating.

But peep this. Roughly 35 minutes later, I'm downstairs stretching my legs. You know the stretch where you bend your leg backwards and it nearly touches your back? So I'm stretching and don't notice that the garbage bin is so close. I put my leg down and...PAP...it falls into the bin. I hop off one foot, almost fall, and then go back to stretching like nothing happened.

So after stretching, I working on abs and this cock sucker is just monopolizing the ab machine. "I only have three more sets," she informs me. So rather than alternate with me, this douche rests on the machine and then proceeds with her exercise. She's lucky I wasn't chewing any gum. I would have thrown it at her.

What's your procedure? Do alternate, or hog the damn machine?


Clark Kent said...

"Phillies won..."

You should be recruiting in-shape girlies for the Rooftop Party - this Friday on June 13th.


Jesus Talks said...

i know you blogged about this before but that gym is notorious when it comes to dudes hanging with their franks and beans out, pause.

Farrah said...

"Phillies won.." LMAO

Daruffian said...

First off, pause on the title. Man, the gym seems like alot of pitfalls to watch out for (see Jesus's comment.) More reason for me to get drunk than work out!