Friday, July 25, 2008

Jail > War...



I'm a punk about certain things. So there's no sense in me giving you that "never scared" bullcrap.

Off top, there are two things I wouldn't be caught dead doing: go to jail and serve in the army. I'm talking ducking grenades in combat and stuff. But given an option between the two, I'd Cassius Clay it and take my ass to jail. War just seems too nerve-racking, man. I saw this youtube clip with soldiers in shootouts just last week and dudes were stressed out of their brains. I tried finding the clip to post it here, but I couldn't find it and I'm sure you get the idea.

Not that jail is stress-free or anything, but maybe I could find a lane where the other inmates wouldn't bother me. Who knows? But let's keep it funky here. The main reason why regular dudes like me are scared of jail, is because Debo-types may wanna try and take it to the hole, pause.

That's a problem. I ain't going out like that. I'm only 6'1" and 185 lbs, so the odds aren't in my favor. Push comes to shove, though, I'm going out swinging. First off, I'd doo doo my pants and would refuse to shower, so I'd walk around stanking all day. Then, I'd smuggle a dumbell into my cell, take the weights off and tape the bar to my leg. Anybody setting it off, is getting they ass karate kid kicked. You too Fleece Johnson. See, Fleece is this inmate from the Kentucky State Penitentiary who enjoys crossing swords if you know what I mean. In part of a segment on MSNBC's Lock Up, good ole Fleece told the interviewer "booty was more important than water." See the clip for yourself.



Maaaaan, I will homerun Fleece's head with my dumbell. Since he's "a warrior too," I may die trying, but that sounds better than becoming one of his stories. So, given the option: jail, or Iraq? Which option would you take? War is out of the question for me, but God knows I'm not even thinking about stealing a lighter at a gas station.

8 comments:

Naked With Socks On said...

My father (wherever he is) told me one thing. DON'T JOIN THE ARMY. THis coming from a man who served in the military and made it to the rank of Sgnt.

Sam Ed said...

Yeah that dudes scarier then Freddy Kruger.

SabaG. said...

LMAO ... THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER!!! HATS OFF TO YOU FOR THAT LAUGH... THANKS ..LOL... i will never talk to a guy thats been in prison! not jail, prison!

Clark Kent said...

I would rather go to prison than fight in a war... I saw that Fleece shit... Dirty sunuvabitch... He'd get shanked in his eye with a sawed-off toothbrush.

Janee TMB said...

I think I'd rather go to war than jail. I'm not a rapper so street cred doesn't mean shit to me, I'd rather get pay and benefits, although if I had to serve it would have to be in the Navy. I hear nothing but great travel stories about the Navy. My cousin was posted in Dubai for a minute -- I think I'd take luxuriating in Dubai way over suffering in Rikers.

Jesus Talks said...

this one is a tough one. American Me and OZ scared the shit out of me. But I ain't risking my life for any country. So I guess I would go with jail. I'm sure mofos have gotten ass raped in the military among other things. So going out swinging in jail is my pick.

Im just, Im just *Rika* from the Block!!! said...

"Then, I'd smuggle a dumbell into my cell, take the weights off and tape the bar to my leg. Anybody setting it off, is getting they ass karate kid kicked."

That line caused me to spit out a mouthful of water over my comp and keyboard...

you now owe me a keyboard, Carl...lmfao...

And I saw that clip from msnbc.. That man had me SMH'ing through the whole thing...

Farrah said...

Yo that video was CRAZY...Maybe they should have Fleece start doing public service anouncements about sagging pants. LOL That'll sure get them pants up!

For real though, I don't know which one is scarier cause once you leave either one (prison or war) you're stil gonna be messed up.