Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Who The Hell Doesn't Like Kissing Anyway?





My first kiss probably came a bit later than most.

Most of my patnas were tonguing chicks down by the end of elementary school, but me, not until I was 16. I had plenty of opportunities before, but I was just too shy to close the deal. Plus, I had this fear about not being good, cause God knows we all knew who the lousy kissers were in school.

Needless to say, I eventually got over it. Actually, I really like kissing now. Most people I know, men and women, do as well. But I do remember dating this girl who hated kissing about five years ago. It was so weird. Usually, if you're dating a girl and things click, you're gonna want to kiss her eventually. The funny thing is, she was actually a very good kisser. She just didn't like to do it.

Imagine my surprise when I found out she also didn't like her breast touched, sucked or any type of contact. But get this, she had this thing about not being able to have sex unless she got head first. Ya'll already know I don't eat seafood...well, I'm sure I'd make an exception for like Nia Long, Paula Patton, Lauren London, Kim Kardashian (I know she's a hoe, but she's a gorgeous hoe. I would Tommy Davidson in Booty Call her) or Stacey Dash.

My thing was, if you don't like to kiss and don't like your breast touched, what's left for me (don't even think about saying head) to do? It gets even more interesting. Things got a little physical on her bed one night, which is weird because I'm used to kisses being part of the deal. So at one point, this chick gets on top of me and starts licking me like a freakin' poodle. No lip contact, just her tonguing my face. WTF? I quit! Needless to say that's the only time it happened. This chick is now past tense blog material. But interestingly, I was talking to one of my homegirls recently, and she was telling me one of her friends, a dude, doesn't like to kiss. I hope they find each other.

What bout you guys? Any of you guys don't like kissing? If so, why not? Ever been with someone who didn't like kissing? I kinda have...

14 comments:

Melyssa Ganache said...

HD, I completely understand where this chick is comin from. I don't really like to kiss either. And I absolutely have to have some head if it's gonna pop off. Sorry. It's gotta go down.

Naked With Socks On said...

First (Pause) Now that that is out of the way... Good blog topic that i'll probably bite later (pause). But I been there, and honestly I think it's some pimp shit. Like street walkers don't kiss their Johns, they feel it's too intimate. And I've heard quite a few girls say they don't kiss because it's too intimate, but blowing her back out is totally fine because THAT'S NOT intimate. WTF?!?!? I don't get how a kiss is more intimate than head or a good bedroom smack down...

kimosorio said...

TMI, Carl....TMI!

SHABAZZ said...

Mssr. Chery,

I was recently in the Bay Area, and my yayslanguistics are dumb ancient, so I learned a new-to-me term "CUPCAKING" OR "CUPCAKE". I first heard a dude say "and no, I don't cupcake" on a DJ TRUE JUSTICE song "My 808", and I thought he said "I don't cut cake" (because there are a lot of (chili bowl) pimps in Oakland and I figured he meant he doesn't split up cake/bread/chips/scrilla/scratch/paper e.g. no dough for hoes.

True pulled my coat and explained that he was saying he does NOT cupcake, meaning, kissing, hugging, holding hands, or engaging in any sort of romance, touching, foreplay or sensual activity. Pure Fuckery.

So imagine a whole generation of youth growing up in the Bay right now, the young ladies are learning that blowjobs and penetration are it - there's no such thing as first, second nor third base. And young men are learning that they're not "hard" or "pimpin" or "whatever..." if they kiss, hug, hold hands, PDA, romance, dance, flirt, etc.

Hot Mess...hopefully the last grain of sand will fall out of this side of the hourglass and our seeds/nieces/nephews can be on some real-live romance shit, maybe we can even arrange some marriages out this bitch. After all, that's how we keep Wu-Tang money all up in the family.

KISSES to all...

Walasia Mirandajane Shabazz
http://projects2pyramids.wordpress.com

MeLa said...

Most people don't do it well. Then it feels gross.

You gotta be particular about who you go kissin on. It is a really intimate thing.

Trinket said...

Back home -Tulsa, OK- in elementary school the 6th graders would have kissing competitions to see who could tongue kiss the longest w/o being messy -I was in the 4th grade, only a spectator-. But I’ve always been fascinated with kissing and enjoy the connection. However, I must say it’s extremely intimate… something about being face to face with anyone brings on a different emotion. If you happen to come out of the trance long enough to engage in each others eyes – it only heightens the sensitive of the act.

Experiencing this with just anyone… never! Nothing will kill a budding relationship faster then bad breathe and a bad kisser! I can’t do nothing fo ya!

KjB said...

I could see if she had a mouth phobia, but she liked mouth on her "no-fly-zone..." Sounds like she was the selfish type. Selfish types of people usually make poor lovers cuz they mistakenly think its all about themselves. As a man, I'm cool with showing and being shown affection to and by my wife to a certain extent as long as it doesn't turn into smothering. The only time I can think of that a man shouldn't be into cupcaking is during incarceration.

Dove said...

Kissing is awesome. Sex is awesome. I just don't like doing them both at the same time. I guess that's weird...

bylinediva said...

KIssing is fundamental!

Janee TMB said...

Kissing is heaven... and the breasts/nipples are an erogenous zone so ole girl was just super weird. What the hell did she like besides licking? Bondage? S&M? I guess different strokes for different folks right.

Farrah said...

Homegirl was giving you the OKee Doke. Sorry cuz, but when a girl says that she has to get head first (not to mention no kissing or tweeking), she just trying to see how far youre willing to go. It seems like she only wanted to play with you...she never took you seriously.

Trust me I've played the same game.

In addition, TMI!!!

LOL :-)

ice jones said...

bump the kissing crap---u don't lick where u stick???!!! i didn't think dudes like u still existed! sheesh!

hills said...

i agree with ice jones, head is a must. i can't believe YOU think WE believe you don't. LOL! that's the best joke I've heard all week.

Re kissing: It's awesome and people who don't want to smooch, i mean, what's the point of making out with them? There's no foreplay, no warm up? boo hiss. And unfortunately, i dated a guy that wasn't fond of kissing anything other than what was on my face. Trust he was replaced-QUICKLY.

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

The joke's on you, Hills.