Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Is The Light Skin Negra Really Making A Comeback?

Don't tell me the light skin negra never left. That awful House Of Payne series is Allen Payne's first steady gig since the 90s. Diddy is raising Al B. Sure's kid and Shemar Moore is hands down the C.O.A.T (corniest of all time) all across the ethnicity board.

Thankfully, I never had to worry about complexion coming up. By the time I started worrying about the girlies, Wesley Snipes (Free Him!)and Michael Jordan were in their prime. We haven't looked back since. If a dark skin vs. light skin war ever popped off, you yellow negras wouldn't stand a chance. We'd just baton the hell out of you guys. It doesn't matter how you wanna play it.

Best Actor: Sure, Will Smith is the Box Office G.O.A.T, but he's 0 for 2 with Oscar. With the exception of Morgan Freeman, who would fall into the light skin team in a Complexion Draft, every Academy Award Winner is on our team. Denzel Washington (twice), Sydney Poitier (Dos), Forest Withaker and Jamie Foxx. Plus we got Darth Vader.

Best Rapper: Kanye West is the best rapper alive and Lil' Wayne is the hottest rapper alive. You dudes may wanna have a huttle over there. Jay-Z is washed up, Nelly can't buy a hit, T.I. is going to jail and Ludacris is messing up Barak's campaign.

Basketball: Kobe is the best player in the world and Michael Jordan is the G.O.A.T.

Sex Symbols: Morris Chestnut and Idris Elba are still favorites with the ladies.

Funny Men: Chris Tucker, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Eddie Murphy, Jamie Foxx, etc, etc. You dudes never picked up after Red Fox and Richard Pryor. The Wayans brother don't count (they're caramel, but ya'll can have them).

I could list a bunch of other things, but you dudes are already trailing by too much, so there' no point in doing so. By the way, we'll let you guys have Michael Jackson. That individual clearly won't make any good contribution to our party.

Come on, homie. We major! But that's until recently. We just lost Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes (R.I.P) this weekend. Wesley Snipes is about to go to jail for tax evasion and his punk ass is still putting out straight-to-DVD flicks like The Art Of War 2. Michael Vik was not a good look. And last but not least, Rick Ross allegedly lied about being a correctional officer. We're hurting, man. On the flip side, that kid Chris Brown is leading the light skin negra revolution at the ground level. As previously mentioned, Will Smith, who is not even 40 yet, is doing his damn thing.

But there's one dude in particular who is really killing us: Barak Obama. Should he be elected president, we're in trouble. Next thing you know, you hang out with a light skin friend and never get any looks. Then again, I'll pull out a technicality on you bums and petition for light skin negras to only be responsible for half of Obama. Still, the president of the U.S.> anybody else, so half could still do the trick. Damn! Is the light skin negra really making a comeback?


Clark Kent said...

LOL. Yo, you got cornball's too - AJ, Terrence from 106 & Park, Soulja Boy, Latrell Sprewell and two knuckleheads with Trae and Mike Jones. At least light-skin cats wanna rap with the girlies (LL Cool J, Chris Brown) than throwin' blows (pause) with another man.

Abner Charles said...

Nope they ain't but mixed dudes
Got it GOOOD ... Obama is president all the assimilated mixed dudes have a shot ... no matter how corny ... YES Mike Tirico Im looking at you.

Cypha said...

I like how u magically left out Flava Flav.
consider your whole argument ETHERED

ron mexico said...

whoa, kevin. don't put negro channel terrence on us dark butts!

the wayans brothers, on the other hand, we might have to rock, paper, scissor for. unlike carl, i'm not so willing to just hand over the all-time box office kings of comedy.

"bj" were the last 2 characters of my CAPTCHA.

kimosorio said...

how in the hell you gonna claim darth vader?

ron mexico said...

p.s.: i'm not fanning the flame of the international civil race war that exists between the kids and the plays of the world.

Gangstarr Girl said...

Yo Carl. You a fool for this one. LMAO. I'm still stuck at C.O.A.T.


P.S. I luvs me some Idris Alba. Hee hee hee...

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

Ouch, Cyph. That hurted. But Flav did good with Public Enemy, so it cancels out a bit. Terrence J from 106, unlike Clark Kent's claim, is light skinted. Considering he's running around cooning in front of kids all day, he's doing the opposite of what Chris Brown is doing at the ground level. Plus you guys have Jessy Jackson. Bottom line, ya'll seem to have a monopoly on cornbalism. Bow Wow, Yung Berg, Raz B and Lil Fizz from B2K and allegedly child mollestin ass Chris Stokes.

ron mexico said...

kim o.,

darkies definitely get dark vader both in shell and voice.

that was the whole underlying racist undertone of star wars. the rasta fish, the dark side of the force... the obvious negro voice representative of said "dark side."

i can't be the only one.

there's racists all over the universe tonight.

carl, what are we doing about the middle of the road/caramel/tom dubois negroes? are we drafting them?

who gets first pick?

Anonymous said...

Oh boy I'm so tired of the dark skin, light skin debate. Only dark skins ever make it an issue. GET OVER IT ALL READY!! We're all black at the end of the day.

That's one of the problems with us now...too much separation.
Do you ever hear Jewish people debating over whose hair is curlier?? Maybe who has the bigger bank account and whoever wins that argument reaches back to help their people out.

Barack Obama for President 2008!!!

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

Booooooo! Why you gon be anonymous? This is a family blog. It used to be a serious issue, but it obviously isn't anymore. At least not for me and my folks. I'm just being niggorant on purpose for the sake of a few laughs here. You prolly drank too much dark skin coffee. You need you some light skin nestle chocolate milk to cool down.

SabaG. said...

Well you forgot Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje. Remember him from Lost , or better yet Majestice from get rich or die trying (since your from the east coast you can better comprehend . I will have to side with my dark choc brothers. You know what saddens me is many women in Africa are using bleaching cream to lighten their skin because they associate lighter skin with beauty. Lighter skin darker sking! WHO THE FUCK CARES, AS LONG AS you can go to sleep at knowing that your partner isnt a sociopath that watches kiddie porn , You alright!lol

ron mexico said...


you mean "better yet SIMON ADEBISI!"

TrinketTrenae said...

Why does the dark skin / light skin issue only matter with the fellas? When has light skin not been the demand for the ladies? It’s sooo not fair. Now, I’m caramel and I thought Sanaa Lathan and Gabrielle Union were bringing brown skinned beauties to the table… but nah, we get, ‘ah she’s cute’ …next!

Back to the fellas… Dark skin will always be sexy, but yes the 80’s are back… light skin has made a comeback!

Farrah said...

Though there is something about TI (since ATL) and Chris Brown can gyrate like nobody's business...I'm sticking with my Nubian Kings.

Idris Elba
Morris Chestnut

Though there are some runts in the family like Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern Show...LOL...Overall, it's Dark Chocolate all the way baby.

Dove said...

I love all of you - whether or not you think my opinion counts :-)

Im just, Im just *Rika* from the Block!!! said...

Now you know, Carl, the love I have for my coco skin cant even be expressed with words. I love to be out in the sun getting blackety-black in the summer. And I love ALL black dudes period. Ive dated dude Bernie Mac black to Jason Kidd pale...

But I have to agree with Trinket Trenae, this is only an issue with the dudes. Cuz when it comes to the females of the race, those light-skinned broads have us trumphed in terms of the love they receive from you guys, even you, Carl.

Everybody knows the love you have for Paula Patton, Lauren London, and coin toss Erykah Badu...

I havent heard you add one decent no coin toss needed Chocolate sista to your list of lady loves.

Janee TMB said...

Yo -- how could you leave out COMMON??? Can't forget Mos Def either! LOL at people getting offended about dark vs. light. This is just the kind of debate that's needed to ease the tension. btw how are you gonna say Hovie is washed up??? ya buggin... hey, I got another one one for you Spike Lee wins all day! oh and y'all can have darth vaders evil ass. we'll take yoda.

Anonymous said...

I came from Africa feeling strong and secure; To re-awaken my people, the originators of Knowledge and civilisation. Why do we still fight over light skinned and dark skinned. Black people all over the world have gone crazy, but There remains the wise ones, those of us that can educate and love a Sister whether ligthened by the weak sun of the north; but not in heart, or Choco and brown like the day God created Eve. May God bless us all.

teemoney said...

I got to this late. Light skin was on the rise until MJ died and
T-Woods couldnt keep his hoes in check. Tiger set high yella people back 20 years. As far as light skinned women, after age 30, the white kicks in and they look all busted. Look at Sade now and compare her with Naomi Campbell. Check out my man Clarence Otis,Jr. He is the HNIC