I kid. I kid. I would never say that...allegedly.
Anyway, it should come as no surprise that I don't hold hands (relationship or not). I just don't get it. I tried, but it just freakin' feels uncomfortably confined. I'll put my arm around your shoulder. We can walk arm in arm. But fingers locked? Not so much.
I'm assuming hand-holding has to do with two things. First, it's territorial. You're basically saying, "hands off, hoe." Second, it's a sign of affection or something like that. Well, I'm sure there are better ways to show your love. See arm around shouler. And as for marking your territory, it's not necessary. Anyone seeing a guy and a girl together is to assume they are together. I don't care if I'm walking around with one of my girl cousins. You are to assume we're a pair, keep walking or look at the freakin' floor. Anybody approaching without inquiring first could be subjected to a karate kid ass kicking.
By the way, fellers. Should someone ever approach the girl you're with without checking with you first, he thinks he can whoop your ass. I mean, I wouldn't try to pull that crap on Debo. But that's an entirely different blog. Anyway, the arm in arm is cool if you're welcomed. Otherwise, fellers like me are forced to develop escape tactics. I still haven't figured anything more subtle then the gradual arm slide. As far hand-holding, if a girl tries to hold mine, I just start thumb-wrestling.
As always, there are exceptions. Similar to my stingy seafood policies (me and Paula Patton can go to Red Lobster anytime), I'd hold Halle Berry's hand strictly for stuntin' purposes. Now, I may grab your hand if we're walking through a tight crowd, but it'll probably be brief. Also, I must say I'm not opposed to a little hand flirting, but I don't know about this crap.
That's likely to lead to some thumb-wrestling right there. Again, hand flirting is cool. The crowd walkthrough is cool. But continuously holding hands from Times Square to 34th St? Why? Tell me ladies. What is it about holding hands? Fellers, are you for it, against it, or indifferent?