Sunday, September 21, 2008

She's Bad, But She's In A Wheelchair...

I'm mad Waiting came out before I had a chance to document my Red Lobster days in a film. I'm talking about the Red by Green Acres Mall in Valley Streams, LI by the way. It used to be world famous or something.

I've seen some things in there. I don't know what it is about shrimps and crab legs, but folks used to wait in line for up to two, three hours just to get a table during the good days. I've seen fights in the lobby, armed security guards get two-pieced and learned that one of the cooks got shot in the parking lot after his shift one night. But for all the drama, the best thing about the job was the shorties, the ones who worked there and the guests of course. It was like a freakin' club on Saturdays. The talent pool was so deep, I mostly met chicks while on the job at one point.

By the way, I was a host, not a waiter. There's no way I could have dealt with these asshole customers. I would have gotten fired quick. One of the most memorable guest I sat was actually this bad ass shorty in a wheelchair. It sounds silly, but I had never seen an attractive woman in a wheelchair before. I couldn't help but stare. She was that bad. She actually kept giving me a pretty inviting smile everytime I walked by, but I wasn't about to try and talk to her. I didn't have a car. Picture me telling her to meet me at the Jamaica Avenue train station. Besides, it just felt weird.

The funny thing is, she came back a few months later and one of the waiters claimed his man beat. Apparently, she was a jump and had been around the block a few times. Interesting! So here are the questions du jour. Every been attracted to someone in a wheelchair? Ever dated someone in a wheelchair? Would you date someone in a wheelchair, or a person with some type of handicap? True story, I remember dancing with a girl who had one hand a few years back. The thing is, I didn't notice until later. We were cracking jokes later in the evening when my hand brushed against hers. I momentarily froze, but then got right back to the jokes so she wouldn't feel bad. We actually became cool. That's just about the closest I came to dating someone with some sort of disability. I wonder what part of the block the Red Lobster shorty is on now.


Naked With Socks On said...

True story, I might know shorty.

Back when I was at The Sauce and Fat Man Scoop had a column called Scoopology. He told me about a girl in a wheelchair from Queens that was bad (meaning good) and dudes would come scoop her up in the whip drop the chair in the back and take her on dates. She came by the office and dudes were all open, we even put her in the mag when Scoop answered a similar question like you posed I used to send her mags for a min. don't know what happened to her.

Was she light skindededededed? LOL

AA said...

LMAAO, i'm so sorry, but this was hilarity. I can't even think right now, I'll commment

MeLa said...

Bwa- hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

- that is all.

DJ Daddy Mack said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DJ Daddy Mack said...

oh man. some of the things in there had me rolling.

"Every been attracted to someone in a wheelchair? Ever dated someone in a wheelchair? Would you date someone in a wheelchair, or a person with some type of handicap?"
No. No. Yes.

You are a honorable guy to keep things cool with that girl with one hand. I respect that.

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

Son! She was light skinted! Could we be talking about the same shorty? She was that bad.

Dallas said...

Funny thing is that my wheelchair shorty comes from Queens and she loves the cheese biscuits at Red Lobster AND we used to fux with the joint on Sunrise until I got my paper up and got a whip so we could go to the one in Hicksville.

She wasn't lightskinted but she was badder than a mother-eff.

I think a lot of dunns be sleeping on that differently-abled poon because most dudes are insecure anyhoo.

Worse than my wheelchair broad who was quite pretty were all the ugly broads that I smashed just because they were giving up the poopchute.

At the end of the day it is nighttime. I say get that pussy regardless unless shorty is a hermaphrodyte. In that case just don't tell nobody.

Ya' deeeeg?!?!

Farrah said...

"differently-abled poon" ...Oh Shit! Is that considered PC? ...LMAO!!

Janee TMB said...

OMG... Can't breathe. You're killin me. I mean, I'm not laughing at the handicapped. I SWEAR. But between Dallas and Anslem, my spleen is about to pop.

I dated a fat guy once. He wasn't handicapped but I don't think he could see his penis. LOL.

Steven said...

Ya know...I seen a bad chick in a wheelchair at Target in Jersey City. Her legs looked like they had muscle tone to 'em not just dragging around in the seat. Overall, she looked like she took care of herself.

Back in high school, I liked this girl with a cleft lip pallet. She was hot for high school. But what pissed me off was she didn't like me.

I don't think I'm mature enough to date a girl with one arm or a missing finger - unless I was dating her and she lost her stuff while we was still dating. But I don't want her nubs rubbing up on me.

I think I could handle an inverted nipple.