Wednesday, October 1, 2008
To trick or not to trick? That's not even a question. I don't love them hoes.
FYI. I don't call women the B-word, but I do throw H's up for a particular breed. If you go out with dudes you don't like just to get some free food, then you is an ostrich and might could be a prositute. See, this blog is all in fun, but I'm the victim of terrorist attacks in the comment section every now and then. Just last week, my friend Janee called me "cheap" for saying I'd let a woman who invited me on a "business" lunch pay for her own burger. Anslem over at Naked With Socks On, co-signed. But I recall all agreeing that whoever invites picks up the check, so I'm not sure how I ended up being criticized there. Let's be fair, here. I'm all for picking up tabs on dates and all, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. Are men supposed to pay for anything involving women regardless of the scenario? You know what. To some extent, I can't even be mad at women for expecting it. These suckers got some of ya'll spoiled.
Per my homegirls, the guys they hang out with, be it boyfriends, dates, side pieces, colleagues co-workers, or even platonic friends, always pick up the bill. But then my punk ass comes along and says no to everything suckers agree to. And that's the problem. Too many women can't stand when a man isn't sweating them, or doesn't do what she expects them to do, especially when these lollipop ass negros jump whenever a hop is requested, not required.
Marty Mcfly & Dr. Emmett Brown (Back To The Future)
My homie Kevin L. Clark always tells me "I'm too cool for school" when it comes to women. Earlier today, he told me, "You have game...You're just the Marty McFly of that shit." Sidebar: I don't believe in "game," but thanks Kev. In case some of you forgot Marty McFly is Michael J. Fox's character in the Back To The Future series. The ladies, including his moms, lovededed him, but he wasn't sweating it. Kev is onto something, though. It's not that I don't want to pay. But I'm sucker-free and never had a hard time meeting women, so why would I start dust-busting now just because? It just has to make sense to me.
I was curious to see what others thought, so I hit a few of my homies to see what their thoughts were. I would have asked Kev, but he asked a woman to pay for the tip on a date, soooooo... One of my homegirls said men pay for her everytime, even platonic friends. She explained that, while they're strictly friendly, men pay because they want "that leverage." I think I get it. It's like the guy you clearly tell you're not interested in, but he insists on taking you out. Dude is actually good company, so you guys keep hanging. And while you're on a platonic level, there is an attraction on his end, so if it was ever to go there, he has some leverage? No? The truth is, dude's intentions probably never changed. He's sticking around hoping you change your mind. He's kinda tricking actually, showing you he'll do what punks like Carl won't do for you. I personally am not looking for any leverage, so I strongly oppose the notion that I'm expected to pay for a platonic female friend. Here's a bit of the exchange my friend and I had.
Me: My boy said if me and my dude friend, pause, go bowling I'm not paying for his shoes.
My Friend: You're right.You wouldn't pay for your guy friend's shoes,
but your guy friend doesn't have boobs,doesn't smell good...
Me: So what, friend? We're friends.
My Friend: Isn't fun to just accidentally brush up against now and then
you're paying because of what a woman is.
Me: Oh hell no! Even when friends?
My friend: If u guys go out all the time, then maybe not.But if it's like someone you genuinely enjoy being around why not? It should make you feel like more of a man
to be able to pay.
Me: But we're frriiiiiiieeeeennnnnnndddddsssss!!
I then took the exchange to my dude Gooch and he just took me to church.
"We are friends. And if we so happen to fuck, then it's a friend fuck. Unless a chick has a hedge fund attached to her pussy, it ain't worth it." --Gooch
Meanwhile, my other female friend interestingly also disagreed with her counterpart. "What the fuck? You're friend is crazy...and cheap," she chimed in.
You know what? Who is being cheap, really? The dude who isn't paying for a platonic female friend who invited him to dinner, or the woman who expects him to pay? The guy who doesn't buy a perfect stranger a drink, or the girl who goes to clubs expecting men to pay for all her drinks? I’ve made no secret about my No Drinks policy. I won’t offer drinks to women I just met at a bar. I’ve actually never done it. I won’t believe a guy who tells me he has no ulterior motive for it either. Chances are, it’s their way of getting her attention, or feel she's most likely to give her number that way. You're doing to get some kind of result. Who knows? Not me. I do know some of my homegirls have gotten free drinks from dudes and then handed them to me. I got tipsy on many a sucker, pause.
What do you guys think? Careful now, fellers. You don't wanna come off as the sucker who buys dinner and drinks for a girl who doesn't like him and leaves the "date" to go to one of my boy's house. Speak on it!