Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Decidation To The Suckers: To Trick Or Not To Trick?

To trick or not to trick? That's not even a question. I don't love them hoes.

FYI. I don't call women the B-word, but I do throw H's up for a particular breed. If you go out with dudes you don't like just to get some free food, then you is an ostrich and might could be a prositute. See, this blog is all in fun, but I'm the victim of terrorist attacks in the comment section every now and then. Just last week, my friend Janee called me "cheap" for saying I'd let a woman who invited me on a "business" lunch pay for her own burger. Anslem over at Naked With Socks On, co-signed. But I recall all agreeing that whoever invites picks up the check, so I'm not sure how I ended up being criticized there. Let's be fair, here. I'm all for picking up tabs on dates and all, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. Are men supposed to pay for anything involving women regardless of the scenario? You know what. To some extent, I can't even be mad at women for expecting it. These suckers got some of ya'll spoiled.

Per my homegirls, the guys they hang out with, be it boyfriends, dates, side pieces, colleagues co-workers, or even platonic friends, always pick up the bill. But then my punk ass comes along and says no to everything suckers agree to. And that's the problem. Too many women can't stand when a man isn't sweating them, or doesn't do what she expects them to do, especially when these lollipop ass negros jump whenever a hop is requested, not required.

Marty Mcfly & Dr. Emmett Brown (Back To The Future)

My homie Kevin L. Clark always tells me "I'm too cool for school" when it comes to women. Earlier today, he told me, "You have game...You're just the Marty McFly of that shit." Sidebar: I don't believe in "game," but thanks Kev. In case some of you forgot Marty McFly is Michael J. Fox's character in the Back To The Future series. The ladies, including his moms, lovededed him, but he wasn't sweating it. Kev is onto something, though. It's not that I don't want to pay. But I'm sucker-free and never had a hard time meeting women, so why would I start dust-busting now just because? It just has to make sense to me.

I was curious to see what others thought, so I hit a few of my homies to see what their thoughts were. I would have asked Kev, but he asked a woman to pay for the tip on a date, soooooo... One of my homegirls said men pay for her everytime, even platonic friends. She explained that, while they're strictly friendly, men pay because they want "that leverage." I think I get it. It's like the guy you clearly tell you're not interested in, but he insists on taking you out. Dude is actually good company, so you guys keep hanging. And while you're on a platonic level, there is an attraction on his end, so if it was ever to go there, he has some leverage? No? The truth is, dude's intentions probably never changed. He's sticking around hoping you change your mind. He's kinda tricking actually, showing you he'll do what punks like Carl won't do for you. I personally am not looking for any leverage, so I strongly oppose the notion that I'm expected to pay for a platonic female friend. Here's a bit of the exchange my friend and I had.

Me: My boy said if me and my dude friend, pause, go bowling I'm not paying for his shoes.

My Friend: You're right.You wouldn't pay for your guy friend's shoes,
but your guy friend doesn't have boobs,doesn't smell good...

Me: So what, friend? We're friends.

My Friend: Isn't fun to just accidentally brush up against now and then
you're paying because of what a woman is.

Me: Oh hell no! Even when friends?

My friend: If u guys go out all the time, then maybe not.But if it's like someone you genuinely enjoy being around why not? It should make you feel like more of a man
to be able to pay.

Me: But we're frriiiiiiieeeeennnnnnndddddsssss!!

I then took the exchange to my dude Gooch and he just took me to church.

"We are friends. And if we so happen to fuck, then it's a friend fuck. Unless a chick has a hedge fund attached to her pussy, it ain't worth it." --Gooch

Meanwhile, my other female friend interestingly also disagreed with her counterpart. "What the fuck? You're friend is crazy...and cheap," she chimed in.

You know what? Who is being cheap, really? The dude who isn't paying for a platonic female friend who invited him to dinner, or the woman who expects him to pay? The guy who doesn't buy a perfect stranger a drink, or the girl who goes to clubs expecting men to pay for all her drinks? I’ve made no secret about my No Drinks policy. I won’t offer drinks to women I just met at a bar. I’ve actually never done it. I won’t believe a guy who tells me he has no ulterior motive for it either. Chances are, it’s their way of getting her attention, or feel she's most likely to give her number that way. You're doing to get some kind of result. Who knows? Not me. I do know some of my homegirls have gotten free drinks from dudes and then handed them to me. I got tipsy on many a sucker, pause.

What do you guys think? Careful now, fellers. You don't wanna come off as the sucker who buys dinner and drinks for a girl who doesn't like him and leaves the "date" to go to one of my boy's house. Speak on it!


MeLa said...

There seems to be a lot of emphasis on this 'paying for things' issue. why is it such a big deal? it seems like you guys are so defensive and wary of being considered a sucka... when did dating become warfare? The drink is just an innocent step in the courting process.

To me, it's not a huge deal either way. although if I were to make an argument for a man paying, Id go with this- I want to feel comforted, indulged, taken care off by my man. Not sure if a drink, for instance, says all that about a guy, but i believe it hints toward that relationship aspect, on an emotional level.

Chicks who date for meals are birds. Dudes who are scared to by a drink for fear of being labeled a trick, are uptight and corny.

And friends should pay for their own shit. Although ive been known to pay for friends meals, drinks, entry into clubs, etc. My point is that no one should feel obligated.

Hey, thats a great point- no one should feel obligated to do anything. Do what you want. But be conscious of your motivation. We women are not your enemies.

Clark Kent said...

It ain't trickin' if you got it... I know that sounds so overused now, but I agree with Mela - friends should pay for they own shit. In a relationship or dating, things are negotiable. Just never bring a big bag of change ANYWHERE other than the laundromat, ya dig!

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

See Mela, you may be an exception. But I don't belive women saying, "it's not a big deal." At least from personal experience, most of my female friends have stories about guys not paying for them and they just couldn't get over it. Oh and Mela, I ain't never scared. HA!

southpeezy said...

when dating...i myself don't mind paying for for the meal if Im the one that came up with the idea to go out and picked the spot. Now, if the young lady calls me and says "hey lets go out to eat at {insert random place}" that point I think we either need to go dutch or she pay for the meal because it was her idea...especially if its some place i've never been and will never go to myself anyother time...

oh yeah, ladies, if you listening...that shit yall do when you go to the bathroom when the check comes, cut that shit out...yes, I will wait fo you ass to come back to the table and yes I will let that check sit there until you make a move, dont even come at me like that homes...

like i said, I dont mind paying for meals when Im out on dates, all I ask that ladies dont abuse the courtesy by NEVER offering to pay the tip and NEVER ever bothering to at least reach for the bill...dont just stare at that shit like its gonna pay itself...

oh yeah, I dont know if they do this everywhere else...but i know in Atlanta, waiters have a tendancy to come to the table with the check and lay it on the mans side of the table...they used to just put in in the middle of the table on some tug of war shit...but not I the only one who notices that?

Janee TMB said...

LOL. Like Mela, I gotta wonder why is it such a big deal to you guys? Maybe because you, my friend, are cheap?

As much as I argue in favor of men being men (yes that means paying when the check comes) I'm very generous with mine, so maybe that's why I don't understand how some people can be so cheap. *Shrugs*

Now I have to go give Gooch a hard time for being cheap too.

AA said...

And so it is revisited for the umpteenth time lol true story...I was talking with a male friend last night about this very topic, when I see the blinking red light, pick up my Blackberry and read this headline...very very eerie!

Anywho I proceed to read the blog aloud to get his thoughts and with a number of "preaches" and "chuches" it was apparent he totally agreed with you lol. And of course I sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes for emphasis...but theeeen I remembered, we've been out a few times and he's shelled out more for me, then some "dates" I've been on, so I asked him how does that fit into the equation.

His response? "You're not just a random girl. I've known you for 5 years...come on now!" which did make sense BUT if I begin dating someone for the first time, am I not to expect him to pay for my drink, etc, because he just met me, when truth be told, he is in effect courting me as Mela mentioned? I think not. I'll take a Mai Tai thank you ver much ;-)

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

Janee, you cheap ass. Pay for my sandwich. Viva le Gooch. That was the best quote I heard in a minute.

Farrah said...

I don't know about you Carl...You sounding very suspect on this blog.

Forget sandwiches...With that attitude do you even get buns?!


martine said...

carl already knows my thought on this issue lol

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

That was my cousin Farrah, ladies and gentleman. She jabs at me on the blog and then texts me to apologize. Farrah, you better act like you know before I call your mom.

Anna said...

pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaseee u aint got no game!! haha

"Dudes who are scared to buy a drink for fear of being labeled a trick, are uptight and corny." AMEN mela.

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

I tell you what's corny, game. And you know what, buying drinks is usually part of these guys' "game." As I said before, I don't believe in "game." But my favorite MC of all time, Nas, summed it best.

"I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story." -Nasir Jones


The Noelife said...

PREACHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! i agree ! if the women invites a man out the option for to her to pay is DEF there! if a guy invites a female out he automatically has to pay in most cases so when does the MAN get tricked on ?