Some of you may have noticed that I don't use the N-word. I may quote it, playfully say negro or negra, but I don't actually use it. I don't think I deserve a cookie or anything. That's just me. The thing is, I've been called that word in its integral context one too many times to consider it a term of endearment. I must have been 6 or 7 when it first happened. Mind you, I was insulted by my peers, which is pretty sad when you think about it. It's scary to think that kids know to use such a powerful slur at such an early age.
If it wasn't the N-word, I got asked some of the dumbest questions you couldn't imagine. This white girl once asked me if my Dick Johnson was also black like the rest of my body, numerous kids have asked me if I wish I was white. The list goes on. Some were genuinely racist, but others just didn't know any better. After all, some folks' only glimpse into the Black experience comes from rappers, black actors, athletes and the freaking news paper. Not always the best look. I'm telling you, if it's not one thing, it's another.This guy in High School used to ask me why I didn't walk with a limp. He was a pure wigger. At times, it's as if he thought he was blacker than me. His reference? Why, the TV and a couple of rap videos of course.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Young Afro-Americans depicted in the media are the black men's poster children worldwide. So there's a chance the only black kid in an Australian, Canadian or French (or even some parts of the U.S.) school is expected to walk with a limp, talk loud, carry a gun, dance well, speak badly, etc. etc. Hell! They expect you to do that in New York City. But having been through something similar, I despise stereotypes to this day. That may just be the only instance in which I'll use the N-word. To point out some niggeRs.
Before going any further, I must stress how beautiful my black folks are. There's nothing like being around black folks feeling it in church, or to see my people celebrating at a wedding. Perhaps one of the most incredible experience I had was college graduation. I remember walking and seeing every black person look at me and nod. They didn't know me from a hole in the wall, but the look on their face and the nod said it all. They were proud of me. It was an incredible feeling.
I love black people, but I can't stand niggers. There's this thing I have a hard time explaining. Ignorant niggers have this look in their eyes when they're talking shit. Notice I'm not censoring myself as I usually do. So these ignorant niggers be talking shit with a stare so blank you'd swear they're cross-eyed. My homie Jayson sent me a clip earlier today that had me shaking my head in shame. The clip could be old, but that's not the point. It features these dudes "battling" in what could be the projects. The lead niggorant character keeps referring to the area as Tha Carter (not the New Jack City building). Perhaps some of you are familiar with it. I don't know why they were trying to battle, cause they clearly weren't rappers. Here's an excerpt from the main dude.
"Fuck all the talkin', he's tryin' to do that nice guy shit/You come to The Carter, you gon leave with your life and shit/I keep a bad bitch sucking on my dick and shit/You got a problem, I will fuck you up, word to my momma and shit" -Niggorant Dude
What the hell is he talking about? First off, grouped together, "and shit" are the most two useless words in the english language. There's no need for me to say, "I'm writing a blog and shit." The point is already made by "blog," so no need to add "and shit." Anyway, take a look at the clip and watch how niggorant it gets.
I swear, I take this stuff personal. Like, it pisses me off. But let's be honest. There isn't much I can do. Still, I love black people, but I can't stand niggers.