Monday, December 1, 2008

Michelle Obama Vs. Jessica Biel...

I usually have a specific point in mind when blogging, but bear with me here.
I'm still figuring this out as I go along, so it's moreso me searching for answers rather than taking a stance and then opening the floor like I usually do.

See, I always say I don't discriminate, but on second thought, I do. Sure, I've played in the snow before, but in retrospect, I always did because I had no other options. I won't go into specifics, but I remember having the option to "date" a black chick and a white chick at one time. The black chick was cute, but she wasn't screen saver material or anything. The white chick pretty much had her beat in every category (buttocks included), but I still leaned on the black girl just because.

Given the same scenario today, I'm not sure I'd come to the same conclusion. My boy Cash sent me photo of Jessica Biel (posted above) earlier today and it ruined my day. I found myself incapable of closing the window. Per our ASSymetric system, Biel is a 38. Special, but we may need to revise her caliber. Man, I'd love to take her to the gun range.

In any event, I got on AIM and started sharing God's work with a few of my friends. Then I sent it to a female friend of mine and joked that Jessica Biel was the future and that black women were in trouble if the average white chick started looking like her. Shoot! Professional athletes have been dating surf boards for years, if Biel became the norm, regular dudes may just start deffecting in increasing numbers. My friend had an interesting response, though. To let her tell it, black women shouldn't feel threatened because brothers were now looking for Michelle Obamas. Is that so?

I mean, pretty much every dude I know said they'd rather be nailing Sarah Palin than Obama, so I'm not convinced by my friend's claim. Sure, Palin's perceived as more of a jump off, but she's getting picked nonetheless. Barack's election is clearly gonna change the way black men are perceived. Allow me to be pedestrian once again. I'm thinking less black women are likely to contract jungle fever now. On the flip side, white women and any other ethnicities for that matter, probably have "birth mixed baby" in their one-year plans now.

But what about Michelle, what kind of impact is she making? I think an Essence editor recently wrote something about Michelle having a positive impact on the way black women will view themselves from now on. That's not the point my friend was making, though. She was saying that Michelle Obama types, (educated, intelligent, classy) are becoming more desirable to black men. Pardon the pessimism, but I don't think so. Dudes aren't about to switch from airheads to Michelles cause she's the first lady. Preferences will likely remain the same. Now, as much as I'd love to handle that 38., I honestly don't see myself going there. You know I just be talking junk. But let a NBA player get to pick between a Michelle and a Jessica Biel type? Do you think he's less likely to pick Jessica than he was before?


Naked With Socks On said...

who in their right mind would want to lay it on Palin? (Besides Juelz Santana, of course). She is NOT fly. Maybe back in the day to her peers, but not to me. Stupid is as stupid does.

That Biel shot is redunkulous though... how come you didn't send to me earlier? I thought we were cool

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

LOL! I thought I did. I remember sending it to Mike D and Rob and coulda swore I sent it your way too.

dallas said...

If that is Biel's booty I will take her over a Michelle Obama type of over-achieving Black chick any day of the week.

Over-achieving Black chicks ultimately hate niggas like me. Yeah, we fucks around for a minute, but then these broads get tired of the fact that I stay in fiscal deficits. They tell me to sell off my sneakers and my comic books.

Bitch please?!?

So I can fund your lifestyle of eating out every night (sushi of course) and international travel every three months?

I made her laugh at first, but now that she sees what kind of budget a blogger lives on she is also looking for 'Something New'.

Hashim said...

HD, I take it you've never seen a photo of Michelle Obama from this angle:

Matou said...

Carl! Now do you really think that's all Jessica Biel?!!!??
Please!!!!! Watch a rerun of 7th heaven and see.
By No Means am i Hating BUT I think it looks fake!!

And YES I so want an Obama type now!!

AA said...

I told you so Carl ;-). Michelle has brains and body... Plus even even if she's an "over-achiever" as Dallas said, at least she can hold on her on, next to Barack and a bunch of other intelligent folks. I've never heard Jessica Biel speak, outside of a TV show. All I know is that she goes out with a cool white boy with a squeaky voice, JT...other than seems the only thing she has is a considerable bum in comparison to Black girls... ::shrugs::.

ron mexico said...

yea... i never knew JB had it like that. it never shone through on 7th heaven.

if it's real, she emerges from jumpoff to wifey bracket.

Joe D. said...

"I won't go into specifics, but I remember having the option to "date" a black chick and a white chick at one time. The black chick was cute, but she wasn't screen saver material or anything. The white chick pretty much had her beat in every category (buttocks included), but I still leaned on the black girl just because."

Are you an NBA General Manager? Cuz that's some Hakeem Olajuwon over Sam Bowie, Kwame Brown number 1 overall pick type stuff there lol.

MeLa Machinko said...

LOVE this blog. LMAO!

a few things.

1. Jessica Biel is hot. Unfortunately, (and i can say this with confidence because I am a hollywood gossip blog fanatic) her booty was only like that for a short period of time.. that was the '07 booty. Its back to normal now. I didn't see the movie but i remember when she was working on it.

2. Michelle's donk aint nothin to sneeze at.

3. I'm not sure how you're drawing the comparison. Is it black vs. white? dumb white vs. smart black? black donk vs. white donk? (cuz ours ain't goin nowhere, even if theirs keeps growing!)

If you're considering donk'd up Biel as an airhead/ jump off (highly debatable, btw.. she's actually no Kardashian), then do wives ever REALLY have to worry about jumps? Most of U dudes always come home.. eventually.


4. As for Palin.. for those who like her, the attraction is simple, i think. She looks like a crazy whore who'll let you penetrate her with a rifle. She's out of her fucking mind.. the next logical step is superfreak.

5. Lastly, Obama gives me hope and confidence in my country and its future. He doesn't make me NOT wanna put Halle Berry's man on a plate and sop him up with a biscuit. And I'll still take Idris, too. THATS the kind of change we need!

Adwoa said...

Sarah Palin?!?!..what guy in their right minds would choose her??

..and for the guys...what about an Obama type "chick" with a donk like J. Biel??..would you still choose Biel??

zILLa said...

Oh boy...