Monday, February 9, 2009

Everybody's Haitian...Will Smith & LL Cool J Too...



You "my family's not from here" people will surely appreciate this, especially Haitians.

I always tell people, there's literally a pre and post-Wyclef Haiti in the U.S. I can't stand that bloodclot Jafaikan accent of his, but at the end of the day the man wore the Haitian flag as a freaking cape at the American Music Awards...Or was it the Grammys. Forget Jean-Bertrand Aristide or Michele Pierre-Louis, Clef is our prime minister. See, before Clef Haitians used to keep their nationality on the low. Those who don't rep the flag usually get claimed anyway. Haitians are especially over the top with the draft. The second your name easily translates into french, you're one of us.

I grew up thinking all types of people were Haitian...like Big Daddy Kane. Come to find out his real name is Antonio Hardy...Not so much. To this day my brother says Ralph Tresvant is Haitian (well, he is from Boston) and you done know we claim Sydney Poitier, but he's actually bahamian. But here's the punchline. Not too long ago, I went to get a cut and my barber was babbling about Will Smith and Danny Glover being haitian. Listen, I'm an unapologetic Will Smith stan. I even have a separate Will Smith, Spike Lee and Eddie Murphy DVD section at the crib. But there's no way Will is Haitian. I appreciate everything Danny Glover has done for Haiti, but dude is American.

The funny thing is they don't always claim my ass. I usually get mistaken for being Trini or Jamaican. The OGs always know, though. They just run up on me and start speaking creole. This dude came up to me one time and started telling me all about how LL Cool J is Haitian. Another Haitian Smith? Usher is apparently one of us, but I don't claim him. Not until I hear it from the man himself. Here's a list of confirmed and alleged Haitians.

PS: Until I hear Usher acknowledge it with my own ears, his Haitian descent is just a rumor.

Confirmed: Wyclef Jean, Garcelle Beauvais, Dave from De La Soul, Chopper from Making The Band (Fack!), Pastor Troy, Jacki-O, Lela Rochon, Maxwell, W.E.B. Dubois, Jamie Hector, Tony Yayo, Gary Dourdan, DJ Whoo Kid, Mario Elie, Samuel Dalembert, etc.

Alleged Haitians: Rick Ross (Don't believe wikipedia. I asked him my damn self and he said no. YES!), Ralph Tresvant, Lauryn Hill, Usher, DJ Paul aka Paul Bauregard of Three Six Mafia, (I aksed him. He said no.) Sydney Poitier, Lil Wayne, Any Person With A French Sounding Name Or A First Name As A Last Name...

22 comments:

She's Gotta Have It said...

For years I tried to find out what other celebs were fellow Haitians but always came up short. Back then, you couldn't pay some of these people to rep their country. Definitely didn't know about Lela, but then again look at her last name. I believe Jimmy Jean Louis from Heroes is one of us, as well.

LOL @ The second your name easily translates into french, you're one of us. I don't have a typical Haitian last name but it's Haitian, nonetheless.

At first glance, I'm not often recognized as being one, which is fine because how else will I catch dirty old men and catty women saying foul things in Kreyol? As soon as I respond, they wanna be surprised.

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

That's why I kinda like not having a haitian face. I float under the radar. This one time I was on my way home from school and was exhausted. So I'm sitting down and see these two older ladies, not senior citizens or anything, but older. So I'm bout to get up and give them my seat when they started talking trash about me. If he was a gentleman, he'd give you his seat. Pfttttt! I stayed my ass seated out of spite.

MeLa Machinko said...

ROFL @ pre and post Wyclef America.

I spent one yr in HS @ John Dewey, a school in Coney Island with a heavy Haitian population. I distinctly recall quite a few 'Jamaicans' at the school become proud Haitians after The Score dropped.. LOLOL!! Even my half- haitian big bro rocked a haitian flag in his pocket for a minute.

As for me- i'm a descendant of the Tribe of the Monigs. (Mo' nigga than anything else lol) from the western coast of Africa to the southern portion of the US. thats the road my forefathers traveled. LOL

As for ur Haitian list, you forgot R&B singer Joe, and Lil Wayne!

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

Mela,

Weezy is not one of us. He just rocked the Haitian flag on his head a few times. It's cool now. Clef done did a number on these folks.

Farrah said...

"That's why I kinda like not having a haitian face."...WTF...SMH...

Carl, What is a haitian face may i ask?

The Cocoa Luv Chronicles said...

Dead @ Mela "As for me- i'm a descendant of the Tribe of the Monigs. (Mo' nigga than anything else lol) from the western coast of Africa to the southern portion of the US."

LMAO. Same here. lol. I claim what folks can see. Shout out to the regular blk folks out there! I've gotten asked if i was all kinds of West Indian or Cuban (yea i don't know either). My response is well aren't they black too? Anyway, good post. Never been asked if i was Haitian though.

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

FARRAH, you gotta be kidding me. With your haitian ass name. You know damn well we see certain people and be like, "Oh, they are sooooooooo Haitian." You gon tell me Mon Oncle Jean Ogu, Toto and them don't have Haiti written on their foreheads?

Farrah said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!

Correction ('CARL' is a Haitian ass name), Farrah is a Persian/Arabic name.

So if that is the case (with Mon Oncle Jean Ogu and them) then you definetly have a Haitian face!! lol

You see your high cheekbones and "pique" caramel complexion, that makes you a HAITIAN FACE!!! LOL

It's all love " AYITI stand up!"

Jackpot aka H.D. aka Desckabaisses said...

If you're trying to tell me I look like Toto, it's gon be problems next time I see you. And I'm not caramel. I'm not that light.

Anonymous said...

hey i'm from the Bahamas and yes sydney poitier is in fact OF HAITIAN DESCENT. He said it in his recent book that his peeps came from Haiti. The Bahamas was populated mostly by Haitians.....Take it from me. I know the whole story. LOL

teemoney said...

I went to grad school with a hatian cat (we were an international crew, had a brother from martinique, a brother from ghana, me (from sacramento) and dude from d.c.)...My hatian boy, back in '98 told me that both usher and al b sure were hatian...

Anonymous said...

Beyoncé Haitian?? Deréon...I think so

astall222 said...

All of these celebrity yall r claming like will smith denzel washington Danny Glover P D is not hatians. Black american has a different look and pysique from all black nations. Our men and women bodies r made different from all black nations. Lol Beyonce is not hatians. French people own black slaves as well and inherit and gave french names. Remember Lousiana was own by the French in 1863.Hatians were brought here in that year.Creole is a language.The french Quarters r still in Lousiana today. U can tell ur own.These brothers r not hatians.

jfocus said...

astall222 you kind of sound ignorant by saying black Americans has a different look and physiques. FYI Haitian comes in different sizes, shapes and skin complexion just like any other black. So what you saying is irrelevant, even-though I agree those names you mention are not Haitian. But your reasons are ignorant or maybe you are.

Anonymous said...

1) Lil Wayne is not Haitian. Just because he wore a flag in support of Haiti, does that mean he's Haitian?? Stop being so damn insecure people, Jesus.

2) Lauryn Hill is NOT Haitian. WTF is wrong with you people??? She AND Lil Wayne are African-American.

3) "Black Americans" are any Black people with American citizenship. When you say "African-Americans" you are speaking of a specific group of people, the native people to the US of African descent whose ancestors were trafficked during the African Holocaust. They have their own specific folklore, their own religions, their own perspective, their own oral traditions, their own music ways, their own textile traditions, their own folklore, their own foodways and culinary traditions.

And yes, there is a certain common thread in the appearance, obviously. African-Americans are frequently mistaken to be from the French Antilles by people from the French Antilles and vice versa. This is because they have a shared heritage.

The difference is that Haiti won its independence just before the Bantu influx in the Americas (including the US) and the French Antilles. So although there is a shared heritage, it was cut off at a certain point when the Bantu began to predominate in the Americas. This is a history lesson I don't have the time or energy to give.

But if you need Lil Wayne or Lauryn Hill to feel good about yourself, then you need your damn brain checked! You young twits need to remember you come from the loins of Dessalines, Louverture, Bookman, Mackandal...and this is a legacy greater than that of any rapper or musician. Your insecurity ASTOUNDS and DISGUSTS me!

Watch some twit claim to have a problem with hearing the truth, because it makes them uncomfortable or is too frank.

I saw a list in which some desperate twit tried to claim everyone and their granni as Haitian, as usual. (How embarrassing, the insecurity is laughable) And on this list, Edwidge Danticat, an actual Haitian was at the bottom, almost as an afterthought, while Lil Wayne, who is NOT HAITIAN DUMMIES, was at the top.

You people are really damn fools and a disgrace to your ancestors! Haiti has a great legacy to offer the Black world, but the shame and insecurity of their young generations today are a disgrace to Black people everywhere and an exercise in insecurity and desperation.

Anonymous said...

Daaaaaaaaamn you burned everyone. Say it i'm black and i'm proud!!!

Thama Etienne said...

All of these are rumors. Yah people are insane...

Thama Etienne said...

I heard that but for me to believe I ought to here from usher ma self.

Anonymous said...

Read your comment and I love it. It's so true

Anonymous said...

Was listening to a Usher song and googled was he haitian and I came across this. What is up with people these days. Anyways Happy Thanksgiving!

Ebony Wiz said...

Chopper is GRENADIAN.

Anonymous said...

Yes Sidney Poitier is Haitian. He has stated that in autobiography.