Thursday, March 5, 2009

Don't Hook Me Up With Your Friend If She's Busted...



I can't lie. Every now and then, I start thinking I'm too damn picky for my own good.

Looks aren't the end all be all, but I won't get to know how dope your personality is if there's no attraction there. I've gone out on dates before where I tried convincing myself that the girls were as cute as I wanted them to be. They were nice, intelligent and sometimes actually kinda cute, but I guess they weren't cute enough...to me at least. And I'm not saying I'm a stud or anything, I love me some pretty faces that's all. I used to have this thing where I wanted my next girlfriend to look better than my last.

My friends apparently don't think looks are that important. My cousin Farrah will be mad at me for this, but a while back she offered to hook me up with a friend. I don't do blind dates, so I asked for a visual. I don't have a type, but let's just say the girl wasn't my cup of henny and I don't even like henny. She could have hooked me up with one of the cute friends I've seen before, but nooooooooo, I guess her damn cousin ain't good enough.

I had another "your friend ain't cute enough" episode today. A friend of mine was busting my balls about me being too picky and brought up a friend she tried hooking me up with a while back. I couldn't remember what she looked like, so I asked for a reminder. Pffftttt! Let's just say now I remember why I wasn't interested in the first place. I couldn't believe she even suggested that girl. She stood by her friend, though -arguing that she just "wasn't cute to you." I threatened to get second, third and fourth opinions and I felt like sharing visuals with you all, but that'd be pretty foul.

Truthfully, I'm a little hurt that she tried hooking me up with her. I feel like she should have known I wouldn't go for it. I mean, it wasn't even close. I would never do that to any of my friends. My fellers, I love ya'll to death, but some of ya'll wouldn't get hooked up. I may have mentioned this one before. A while back, one of my facially challenged friends asked to get hooked up while I was on the phone with a young lady. But rather than cosigning when he kept screaming, "I'm cute, I'm cute," I just gave him the phone and let him sell himself. On the flip side, fellers, I would never do you dirty. If some questionable chick wants to get hooked up, I'm gonna warn you beforehand.

This got me thinking, though. Are all girls biased when it comes to their friends? My friend wouldn't admit that her friend wasn't cute and I doubt I can find a girl who admits that her friend doesn't look as good as her competition. Ladies, are all your friends pretty? Are you biased, or do you keep it funky? Fellers, ever had a similar experience? What about you ladies? Remember, the moral of the story is, don't hook me up with your friend if she's busted.

PS: I promise I won't be nicer next time.

8 comments:

clove said...

facially challenged?? lol. not many women will say that their friends are ugly. unwritten rule. even if we do think so in the beginning, our girl friends get better looking over time. so that might be the problem

Farrah said...

WELL...I would like to officially defend myself!!! My friend is cute, Carl you are picky!

I know I have some acquaintances that are not that cute, but all my friends are cute (that's a criteria for being my friend...lol :-))

You SUCK Carl!!!!! Don't let me catch you in a dark alley, its gonna be a misunderstanding!!!

MeLa Machinko said...

Haaaaa Farrah's gonna kick your ass!

I hate hate hate being hooked up. its cuz Im picky in ways that are impossible to explain. like, someone could hook me up with Boris Kudjoe and I'd be like "umm.. check please"

as for my friends, I definitely have friends who aren't the textbook definition of 'attractive'.. but my friends are my friends for a reason.

It'd shock your socks off if i showed u pics of my friends who routinely bag NFL players and rich blacktors (black actors, duh)

.. that said, I personally wouldn't offer that person up. Only because you can't sell someone who isn't 'up to code'.. they have to sell themselves. Like ur boy on the phone.

then i have friends i wouldn't hook anyone up with cuz they're crazy as jacks and I wouldn't put a man thru a relationship with her.. lol

when I hook someone up, I wanna be in the wedding! thats why i take it seriously!

Sandra said...

What the hell kind of creature you got up there in that pic? Yo! Is that for real or is that a composite of different people. All that wrongness can't be on one person.
I will admit to once passing on a deceptive pic for one of my man's friends who was begging for a hook up. The girl was cute in the pic but lets just say it was one of her best pics ever. And she is a cute girl just not typical cute & usually has trouble dating because she is over 6 feet tall.Dude was super frikkin tall too but he normall y stays out of his own height range when it comes to dating. Anyway in the end it worked out. So HA! in yo face, Carl!

Sam Ed said...

DAMN!!! I was about to go to sleep but u know i decide to peep the blog before i turn in.... But i come to the page and BAMM! that F'n Pic scares the shit outta me. Now that image is burned in my head. I was hoping to dream about an encounter with Kanye's new bald head eagle girlfriend Amber or something but now this Trollop is gonna haunt my dreams.... SHEEEEit

Happyrunningbunny said...

I have a general rule of not hooking anyone up because the few times I did it did not end well for the couple and I felt guilty for introducing them in the 1st place.

I agree with clove, I'm not going to say any of my friends are UGLY but there are some that aren't exactly cute. These ones often have a few deceptive photos on their fb or myspace page so if a guy friend asks for a hook up I may direct him to some alternate photos so he can get a true feel for what he is asking for.

Gem said...

I totally agree with you. Please don’t hook me up if the dude is fugly. And I would never hook a guy up without him getting a visual first and deciding for himself. I also refuse to hook my guy friends up with some of my homegirls because they are straight nutbuckets. I love them but they are crazy, or have other deep-seated issues that make me revoke their hook-up cards.

DarkSock said...

I peed in a horse once.