Monday, December 21, 2009
I'm sorry, but this never-ending conversation doesn't get old for me— perhaps 'cause it hits home.
Since I've already written about my alleged light skin preference on this blog, I thought I'd bring up an angle we haven't discussed before. Now, I'll say it again. I don't think there's anything wrong with having a complexion preference. I personally don't have one, but I typically can't blog or mention my appreciation for Paula Patton without being called out on it. But here's what I've noticed, at least in my circles. It seems like a lighter guy can mention his red bone penchant with little to no reproach. I, on the other hand, usually get crucified for being attracted to a woman who supposedly isn't dark enough. A person I've never met (I actually don't know who she is) once commented, "Funny, none of your examples even had your skin color...hmmmmm" when I posted images of Patton, Kim Kardashian, Amerie and Lauren London in an old post discussing beauty. So the fruck what? I've also heard, "I know Nia Long is your personal G.O.A.T., but she's not even that dark." So, you mean to tell me I should prefer women closer to my complexion? Isn't that discriminatory?
The thing that always gets me is that these allegations are never based on anything tangible. Most of the morons who've accused me of being a light skin lover are people who have never seen a single person I've dated. Now, I could try to dig up photos of ex girlfriends and past flings, but then I'd be as bad as white people who say they aren't racist because they have black friends.
Though I refuse to acknowledge a preference, I admit the ratio of women I've dated has been on the lighter side the past year or so. But it wasn't by design, just coincidental. The crazy thing is that once I realized it, I momentarily thought the next woman I date should be dark skinned in order to break the cycle. Nonsense! I seem to stumble on patterns. That's what I do. I'm pretty sure I had a darker streak at some point. How come no one said anything then? Isn't it prejudice if I only date dark skinned women? Or is it cool because I'm also dark? On another note, I always hear women, light and dark, say how they prefer darker men. I don't hear anybody complaining there, especially not me. This is clearly not a generalization, at least maybe not outside my circles.
Now, I'm really about to get in trouble. Sorry, but I don't hear too many pretty dark skin women complaining about this dark skin/light skin crap. Again, that's my personal experience, not a generalization. And don't y'all have the nerve to tell me Serena Williams is pretty. FOH! I wouldn't pick Tiny over Gabrielle Union and I shouldn't be expected to choose India Arie over Sanaa Lathan.
I'm not saying there are no complexion-related injustices out there. I'm not sure a candidate of my color would get too far in the presidential race. And there's no denying that the light/dark ratio for women is absurdly disproportionate in Hollywood. But it has nothing to do with my preference or lack thereof.
Free Wesley Snipes!
PS: Reading is fundamental.