Monday, December 21, 2009

The Blacker the Berry...

I'm sorry, but this never-ending conversation doesn't get old for me— perhaps 'cause it hits home.

Since I've already written about my alleged light skin preference on this blog, I thought I'd bring up an angle we haven't discussed before. Now, I'll say it again. I don't think there's anything wrong with having a complexion preference. I personally don't have one, but I typically can't blog or mention my appreciation for Paula Patton without being called out on it. But here's what I've noticed, at least in my circles. It seems like a lighter guy can mention his red bone penchant with little to no reproach. I, on the other hand, usually get crucified for being attracted to a woman who supposedly isn't dark enough. A person I've never met (I actually don't know who she is) once commented, "Funny, none of your examples even had your skin color...hmmmmm" when I posted images of Patton, Kim Kardashian, Amerie and Lauren London in an old post discussing beauty. So the fruck what? I've also heard, "I know Nia Long is your personal G.O.A.T., but she's not even that dark." So, you mean to tell me I should prefer women closer to my complexion? Isn't that discriminatory?

The thing that always gets me is that these allegations are never based on anything tangible. Most of the morons who've accused me of being a light skin lover are people who have never seen a single person I've dated. Now, I could try to dig up photos of ex girlfriends and past flings, but then I'd be as bad as white people who say they aren't racist because they have black friends.

Though I refuse to acknowledge a preference, I admit the ratio of women I've dated has been on the lighter side the past year or so. But it wasn't by design, just coincidental. The crazy thing is that once I realized it, I momentarily thought the next woman I date should be dark skinned in order to break the cycle. Nonsense! I seem to stumble on patterns. That's what I do. I'm pretty sure I had a darker streak at some point. How come no one said anything then? Isn't it prejudice if I only date dark skinned women? Or is it cool because I'm also dark? On another note, I always hear women, light and dark, say how they prefer darker men. I don't hear anybody complaining there, especially not me. This is clearly not a generalization, at least maybe not outside my circles.

Now, I'm really about to get in trouble. Sorry, but I don't hear too many pretty dark skin women complaining about this dark skin/light skin crap. Again, that's my personal experience, not a generalization. And don't y'all have the nerve to tell me Serena Williams is pretty. FOH! I wouldn't pick Tiny over Gabrielle Union and I shouldn't be expected to choose India Arie over Sanaa Lathan.

I'm not saying there are no complexion-related injustices out there. I'm not sure a candidate of my color would get too far in the presidential race. And there's no denying that the light/dark ratio for women is absurdly disproportionate in Hollywood. But it has nothing to do with my preference or lack thereof.

Free Wesley Snipes!

PS: Reading is fundamental.


MeLa Machinko said...

umm.. how do i feel abt this?

lots of dudes are color struck.
lots of dudes ride motorcycles. smoke cigarettes. hate their mothers. kill kittens.

see a theme yet?

i refuse to waste energy worrying abt men who lack fundamental self- pride.
I do NOT think all complexion preferences reflect self- hatred. for the record.
Sometimes, tho.

i personally would take both Idris Elba, AND Michael Ealy, to Chinatown. (thats my euphemism for sex).

I'm straight on this issue.

Carl likes hot chicks. that is all. leave him be. :)

Ron Mexico said...

don't be silly, negro. you like what you like and don't have to answer to those sloppy tyler perry-watching bitches over at bossip.

i'm sorry. what were we talking about here?

Zakeeishiphop said...

Yo H.D interesting topic. Me personally I like all type of women. Light skin and dark skin women are both black and as long as her mind is a good space I'm good. I do think however if a person thinks that generally light skin is more attractive than dark skin or vice versa that persons perception of reality has been tainted by the media. I think that all complexions are beautiful.

Carl Chery said...

Mela, I think you need to lead some of these "Tyler Perry-watching bitches" into the light. Oops! Too many smart people commenting on this blog so far. I need some pelicans to weigh so I can attack them.

LadyDee - Brownlady Beautiful! said...

Clearly you are very ignorant. One thing is for sure...when you see a bad ass dark skin girl she is beautiful and the truth is a lot of dark skin girls are BAD! ALOT! Light skin girls usually are just light. The beauty features that exist on a darker toned woman with her amazing skin tone, and beautiful features are missing. Point is all black is beautiful! How much action are you getting from ANY woman is the question.

Farrah said...

WOW...LadyDee went in! And Ron Mexico is HILARIOUS!!!

I'm not mad at this post, cause beauty is beauty PERIOD! Regardless of complexion, like you said aint nobody picking Tiny's light ass over...ummm...ANYBODY (something ‘s just off about shorty)

But I got a question, why does this topic haunt you so? If there isn't ANY truth to it, then why the energy...Are you guilty of something!?!

Anonymous said...

Light-skinned girls are usually JUST light? By saying that you're subscribing to the same kind of ignorance as our color struck black men.

Of course people are entitled to their preferences, but I am wary of any man who ONLY dates light-skinned women.

Carl Chery said...

Lady Dee, if I said anything about dark skinned chicks not being bad anywhere in my blog, please feel free to quote me. I love how you called me ignorant, but then eloquently wrote, "light skin girls usually are just light." That was brilliant! You imply that dark skinned women are BAD and light skinned women aren't, but then switch up and say that all black is beautiful. Again, brilliant!

On another note, Farrah, I spent energy on this because I wanted to read what people had to say on the following things:

Is discriminatory if I prefer dark skin women? Or is it cool because I'm also dark?

Is it expected of me to prefer darker women because I'm dark?

Anonymous said...

I think this whole light skin darkskin thing is the dumbest shit ever. A pretty girl is a pretty girl. Sometimes darkskin girls unjustly hate on lightskin girls and vice versa. I think its getting old... especially when a sister trys to force feed India Aire or Alek Wek down a niggas throat like they are the most bangin chicks in the world. Come On ..Really REALLY!? What about Jessica white or Gab Union. Bottom line is everyone has a preference same way some girls tend to like taller guys, its no-ones fault...Its just up to a shortie to be proud of what she already has. If a dude aint fishing in ur pond move on to the next one. Complaining aint gonna do shit but annoy. Me personally I got a Chronic Asian fetish LOLOOL so i can careless about this post. Chaio

Carl Chery said...


Farrah said...

What is interesting though is the concept of preference vs. discrimination.

To be discriminatory (in my HR voice) is to act differently in similar situations. So if you think a mustache is gross on a dark-skinned chic and its the ultimate sign of beauty on a light-skinned chic, then you're discriminating. But if you think a mustache on a chic is hot no matter what...then that's your preference.

Hope that helps you with your plight!! :-)

Casey said...

we live in a wonderful world with beautiful girls of all colors...why only drive the candy red lambo when you could drive a blue porsche too...the fact that all women don't look the same makees life mre interesting..if you can't find no fine darkskinned girls you ain't lookin right

AA said... I'm not offended. I feel like at my age (two six) I'm pretty much over what is appealing/attractive to random strangers who have no bearing on my life whatsoever. It's only when someone gets ignorant (or I happen to come across a video with nan a dark-skinned chic) that I'm reminded that whaddayaknow this is still a relevant issue (unfortunately) for the majority of folks.

I feel like I've been hearing about this whole "red bone" fetish for years...and its slowly, and boldly, creeping its way back into lyrics, but again...I'm brown & beautiful so to each his own. Myself and other bbg's (beautiful brown girls) just have to make sure that our younger sisters know that just because some of our men (yes, our men) choose to only date light skin girls, doesn't mean that we're not beautiful or not worthy. Check this article out if you haven't already chinese/black girl with brown skin ...aka "chocolate girl"

Dirk said...

i love all types of women. all complexions. my girl friends have ranged from the lightest of light to the darkest of dark. and they were all beautiful to me. the beauty of a woman is not in her complexion. trust me i've seen busted come in all hues.

Tunde said...

the woman in that picture is gorgeous. i agree there is nothing wrong with a color complex. as long as you don't look past true beauty in place of color. i personally don't have a color preference. i agree with dirk.

"busted comes in all colors."