Wednesday, April 16, 2008

How Far Do You Remember?

I can't recall anything before the 4-year-old mark.

Any prior knowledge is based on stories my parents told me. Apparently I
was Peter Parker with it, climbing out of my craddle and hanging upside down pretty early on.

But the first memory I own is a "fight" with my neighbor Dany Richard. We were playing with Tonka trucks right in front of my building when he warned me that he was moving this rock out of the way. I didn't listen and got hit. Wwwwwoooouiiiinnnnnnnn! I started crying and then whooped his ass.

You can still see the scar on my head to this day. I remember everything so clearly. Going home crying. My mom consoling me and giving me mais (not corn, we Haitian, son!). It's been clear ever since. Me and my cousin Mayhem battling (break dancing) in front of his crib when we were 5. I bet you he doesn't remember. Playing soccer with my pops and my brother in front of the crib. I could keep going. What about you guys? What's your earliest memory? How old were you then? Speak on it!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Are Elder People Rude?

My dude Dale suggested that I write about this a while back, but I held off on it for some reason.

You know I couldn't hold much longer though. It seems like elder people have been stepping on my sneakers for like a month now. In case you guys didn't know, there's a no tail gating rule in effect whenever waiting on lines. Like, there should at least be a three foot space between people.

So, I was clearly next on line at Rite-Aid yesterday when some lady cut into my three foot space and walked right up to the register. I didn't bother saying anything. I just cut her back. Meanwhile, at the grocery store, elder ladies have been bumping me and inadvertently pushing me into the fruit stands without apologizing. And when I warn, "pardon me" right before squeezing past in one of the narrow food isles, they never seem to budge.

Also, notice that I used "elder" rather than "old," so I'm not referring to senile senior citizens here. They know exactly what they're doing. They wouldn't do it to each other either...just to younger people. God knows I'd get crucified if I did anything similar. Just last week, this Jamaican lady quickly shouted, "you no say excuse" the second I brushed by her. The funny thing is I did say "excuse me," she just didn't hear it. I know we can't generalize, but are our elders rude? Speak on it!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Do I Look Like I Have A Girlfriend?

So I'm in my supervisors' office taking photos earlier today when one of them jokes that my "girlfriend" is gonna get mad when she sees the flicks.

"I don't have a girlfriend anyway," I replied. They both seemed surprised by the revelation. Mind you, I've been there for six months so they apparently thought I had a shorty the whole time. One still didn't believe me while the other explained, "you look like you have a girlfriend." Interestingly, one of my female co-workers doesn't believe that I'm single either. WTF?

My cousin Mayhem and I have often conversed on this. We seldom meet women without them assuming, "I bet you got a girlfriend" or "where your girlfriend at?" I don't get it! So ladies, can a guy look like he has a girlfriend? Fellers, as always feel free to chime in and share similar experiences. Speak on it!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Woman I'll Break All My Rules For...

Stacey Dash-Chery...

Let's keep it funky, here. I'm as stubborn as they come, but there's probably a woman out there that can make me compromise.

Stacey Dash may just be the one. Looking at her King Magazine cover (the best since Free), I can't help but think that there aren't too many things I wouldn't do for her. I don't even eat seafood, but I'd change my diet for her if you catch my drift. I might even wear shades and scarves inside. Dude, I would probably hold her hand in public and God knows I haven't done that since crossing the street with my mom as a kid.

As previously mentioned, I like my eyes doo doo brown. Unlike most, I'm not too fond of the light eyes/light skin combo, but best believe that preference is out the window when it comes to Dash [she has light eyes]. Amazingly, she's 42. So there's still time for me to give her a kid. I ain't even ready, but I'd still do it. Go ahead and test me! See how far I would go. Speak on it!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Put Some Freaking Clothes On...

Pardon my abscence again. But a whole lot has been going on behind-the-scenes.

It's been so hectic that I've barely been able to keep up with my workout routine. Speaking of the gym, I'm on the train right now and this dude is wearing a freaking T-shirt. Mind you, we're in New York City and it's like 47 degrees.

Cool, it's been getting a little warmer as of late, but a T-shirt? Folks around my way just take any bit of sun shine as an excuse to dress like it's summer time. Granted, I live in a European neighborhood, but it was 56 degrees yesterday and I saw some hispanic looking dude rocking a freaking wife beater. It's true!
I'm sure you guys have seen some questionable dressing as of late. Speak on it!