Sunday, November 30, 2008

Black Friday Is Dangerous...





Not to generalize, but some of us black folks' financial priorities are pretty screwed up.

I've always been an impulsive shopper. Back in college I had a 40 inch white gold chain, but no car and no money in the bank. That's as dumb as it gets. Though I'm still somewhat impulsive, minus my Nike ID obsession over the past summer, the impulse never reaches red. I just had a relapse, though.

I had no intention on taking part in Black Friday until I bumped into my boy O on the train a few days prior. Apparently, Modells was selling the classic tan Timberlands with 50% off between 5 A.M. And 12 P.M. I'm long overdue on a Timbo re-up, so I figured I'd go and cop two pairs. Unfortunately, they didn't have any size 16 left...All right, all right! That's not my size. But since I put a buck and change aside for the Timbs, I somehow convinced myself to spend the doe on something else.

So I wandered into Banana Republic and they had 40% on sweaters and outerwear, among other things. They didn't have anything I liked, though, so I went to J Crew right across the street. I picked out a few reduced items only to find out there was a 30% sale off the discounted price. So, if a sweater was initially $79.99 and was later dropped to $59.99, you ended up copping it for $42. Good deal!

Next thing you know I'm in Circuit City losing my damn brain. I saw NBA 2K9 for $6.99. I was so unstable, I almost bought it and I don't even have a Playstation. I almost escaped without spending a dime, but then I saw Superbad on sale for $6. I look left and see this bucket with a bunch of Entourage seasons for only $14. Mind you, the TV DVDs usually run $40 to $50 depending on the season. They didn't have too many left, though, so I got in position and started boxing this Asian chick out. My old basketball coaches would have been proud. Thankfully, I copped me a few seasons and left without going to Macy's. I just don't think I could have survived that trip.

In the end, I spend a few extra dollars, but didn't go overboard. It was a close call, though. What about you guys? Bought anything? Went overboard?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Can Barack Obama Hail A Cab For Me?



Yes he can. I mean, I always send my light skinted friends to hail the cab, so I have no doubt Barack Obama can get one to stop.

Unless it's a tough area, my friends usually get a cab to stop within minutes. But I remember failing to get a cab for nearly an hour on a cold February or March night earlier this year. Obama had just come off an impressive primary win over Hillary Clinton and I couldn't help but think: "We may have a black president soon, but my black ass still can't catch no cab." Well, since it isn't cold yet. I'm bout to stand in the middle of Broadway and try to catch me a high yellow car just because. And I'll purposely do so when I have abso-freakin-lutely nowhere to go. And if a cabbie so happens to stop and asks me where I'm going, I'll simply reply, "Nowhere! I was just checking" before lifting my first up and adding, "OBAMA!"

But seriously, now that he's won, it's just gonna be interesting to see the dynamic between ethnicities, especially in a city as cosmopolitain as New York. As I've mentioned before, my neighborhood is mainly comprised of eastern europeans, a little bit of latinos (good looks on them votes, yo) and me, the black dude. So I'm trying to catch some shuteye last night and some drunken wigger kids are up playing sloppy basketball and screaming what else, "Obama!" This morning I drop my trash off and walk into what appears to be the tail end of a political conversation. This republiCAIN looking dude says something to the effect of, "It's a day like any other day" before getting his whispering on when he sees me. Minutes later, I come face-first with this older Russian dude who couldn't help but stare and give me the "I can't believe you niggers did it" look. I swear, dude looked like he wanted to Jesse Jackson my nuts, pause. Moments later, I'm on the train with my Obama newspapers and the vibe was different. Some just awkwardly looked away, others acted like I just graduated and gave me the "you must be proud" look.

What about you guys? What was the vibe like when you went to work this morning. I can live what happened today. It's no biggie. I just hope it doesn't get worse.

PS: It's no time for you negras to pull out folding chairs and start acting a monkey. It's really on now. And by the way, blaming the man is gonna be a tricky thing to do, so I suggest you get off your ass and do something. And don't think police ain't finna still shoot yo black ass neither.

Monday, November 3, 2008

What's The Big Deal About Dimples Anyway?



There are a few things that really get me hooked on a woman's pretty face: eyes, lips and teeth.

As previously mentioned...brown eyes> every other color. There are exceptions, but for the most part, I don't care for green and blue joints much. It's just too fancy for me and ya'll know I ain't into no fancy stuff. I like for eyes to be slanted, lips to be full and shapely (not just two mattresses) and teeth to be well mannered (not stepping on one another).

I probably should, but I never really pay attention to eyebrows. Let's not get it twisted, though. I'm not with unibrows and baldibrows. You know what I don't care for, though? Dimples! It's like freakin' dents. Big deal! Like, I don't understand why someone would point dimples out on the same level they do nice eyes. Mind you, I should love them since they're appreciated. I allegedly have dimples. At least, so I'm told. Phillies won!

The thing is, I have cheeks, pause, but not dimples. Actually I'm starting to second guess whether I know what the damn things are. I think I would know if I had holes in my cheeks,PAUSE². The bottom line is, having or not having dimples doesn't make you look better or worse. It's not like crazy eyes or disrespectul teeth.


What do you guys think? Anybody likes dimples? If so, what is it about them? What's the appeal?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Is She Pregnant, Or Just Sloppy?

I love how folks on the train are scared to look at one another.

We look at the promotional posters a million times over, look through the windows, stare at the floor, analyze somebody's sneakers, but we just won't look at one another. It's like an unwritten rule or something. So I'm on the train obeying the law earlier this week, being a space cadet when some chick's ass rudely brings me down to earth. You know I'm a face man, so I stretch my neck a bit to see who the ass belongs to. But before I even get to the face I notice this pouch just poking out of the girl's shirt.

The thing is, I couldn't figure out if she was pregnant, or sloppy. If she was preggers, I surely would have given her my seat. I mean, I would have waited a few minutes hoping somebody else gave it up first, but I would have given her my spot if necessary. I thought about just getting up and offering it to her just in case, but then again, why should I give up my seat cause this chick's Ballys membership expired? So like five minutes go by and nobody's budging, so I'm thinking this chick just likes to eat before going to bed a lot. The chick was also not wearing a jacket. I mean, she was holding it in her hand. I know we were indoors, but that jsut doesn't strike me ass preggers-ish.

The shape of her belly wasn't too prenant-like either. But what do me and a bunch of train commuters know? But here's what sealed the deal. There was a lady with a stroller right in front of her and she barely acknowleged it. Pregnant women, at least the ones who have accepted their conditions, just light up whenever they see babies. But this chick just glanced at it with a screw face and moved on. I'm thinking this chick is expecting nothing but food. Mind you she was standing up. Imagine how her joint would have looked sitting down. Damn it! I hope she was just sloppy.