Tuesday, April 28, 2009

5 Reasons Why I Refuse To See Obsessed...

There are some movies I just refuse to see.

Not too long ago, I told you guys I've never seen allegedly classic movies like The Titanic, E.T. and Brokeback Mountain. I don't have anything against E.T., but it played on HBO On Demand earlier this year and for some reason I had absolutely no interest in seeing it. I have Netflix now, so I've been ordering all these classic flicks like Wall Street, Platoon and Terms Of Endearment, but you won't find E.T. In my queue. As for Brokeback Mountain, let's not even go there. I don't think I wanna see Titanic either. I mean, it's not like I don't know how the movie ends.

In any event, imagine my surprise when I saw that Obsessed, that God awful Fatal Attraction rip off starring Beyonce Knowles and the Black Brad Pitt aka Idris Elba, debuted at no.1 at the box office- generating $28 million in its opening weekend. It even topped Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr.'s The Soloist aka a movie I'm going to see this weekend. Aside from Beyonce stans, I suspect that people went to see it just so they can laugh at how bad it is. Me, not so much. I wouldn't even go if Paula Patton or some smoking hot chick invited me. Well, I might consider going, but if I did, I'd lie to ya'll about it. I won't even see it when it hits cable. As a matter of fact, here are five reasons why I'll never see Obsessed.

5. Beyonce Is In It: This chick's been acting for years now and she's hardly shown any improvement. I heard she did decent in Cadillac Records, but then again, that was a singing role. Trust, I likes Beyonce, just not when she's acting.

4. Idris Elba Has No Facial Hair In It: Idris usually rocks the goatee or even the mustache as he does as Charles Miner in NBC's The Office. But, for Obsessed, dude is clean shaven. It kinda gives him an air of douchism, which explains why he cheats on his wife in the damn movie.

3. The White Girl Ain't Hot Enough: Granted, according to the story line, this white girl is supposed to be a slut bag, but there's no way I'd cheat on Beyonce for that chick. It's just not believable. I love Jennifer Love Hewitt and I wouldn't even cheat on Beyonce with her. Maybe Alyssa Milano, though.

2. I Could Be Seeing/Doing Something Else: Dude, The Soloist is out and Wolverine (no, I didn't see the bootleg) comes out Friday. Why in the hell would I wanna see Obsessed over those? Then, next week, Star Trek comes out. If I'm not watching one of those three, I'd rather be home getting my Netflix on.

1. Beyonce Can't Act: I'm pretty sure you've seen the preview when Beyonce asks, "someone was in my house?" I don't really think she wanted to know. The way she said it, I was really waiting for her to be like, "oh, it's cool. I left the door open anyway." Plus she just doesn't look like a mother. She needs more people. Steven Seagal > Beyonce

Monday, April 27, 2009

What Are You Listening To These Days?

I don't talk about music too much on this blog, but I thought I'd make an exception today.

People always ask me, "what are you listening to these days?" The funny thing is I've been unable to answer that question the past few years. Though I listen to a wide variety of genres, hip-hop's been the meat of my musical diet for well over a decade. But in the past few years, outside of every single Kanye West release and rap records here and there, I haven't really been feeling hip-hop too much. I didn't think hip-hop was dead, but it definitely needed to be resuscitated in my opinion.

I spent these past few years pretty much digging back in time to listen to the countless records I've never heard. There's so much music out there. As much of a Stevie Wonder stan as I am, there's no way I heard his entire catalog, so I'll usually look for old records and rediscover new ones. I'm a steady digger, but as of late, I've been balancing old tunes and rediscoveries with more recent material, rap included.

I've been bumping Drake's So Far Gone mixtape for a few months now. If you aren't hip to dude, I suggest you get familiar. And let's not get it twisted, I'm not part of the heavy bandwagonism currently going on in the Big Apple. My homie Abner put me onto Drake back in '06 when he put out his Room For Improvement mixtape. He sure did improve. So Far Gone is full of bangers. I hate to like the most popular song on any CD, but "Best I Ever Had" is absolute fire. "Successful," "Let's Call It Off," "Lust For Life," "Uptown," "Little Bit" and "Unstoppable" to name a few, are also undeniable bangers. I think dude is hip-hop's next superstar. 

Rick Ross' Deeper Than Rap is pretty dope, so is Asher Roth's Asleep In The Bread Aisle. It just feels right to be a rap fan again. On a non hip-hop tip, I've also been bumping J* Davey a lot. If you have a second, peep "Slooow" and "No More" off their The Beauty In Distortion/The Land Of The Lost Double EP." The-Dream also has some heat out there. "Walkin On The Moon" is my joint. The Shaft soundtrack, Chopin's "Nocturne In E Flat Major" and Enya's entire catalog have also been in heavy rotation as of late.

What about you guys what's in your iPod, CD changer, iTunes?

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Getting A Haircut=So Teh Ghey...

I definitely think too much.

My mind be wandering in all types of unecessary places. If I don't have a particular issue on the mind, my brain's busy pondering on hipothetical scenarios, daydreaming about being in the NBA or coming up with some left field theory. Here's one for you: going to the barbeshop is just about the gayest thing ever.

I don't like to think about it when I'm on the chair myself, but I did take a few notes while waiting my turn at the barbershop this past Friday. First of all, the barber gotta be all up in your face, pretty freaking close. Dude just be grabbing your head, pause, gently, lifting up your chin and in some cases I've seen, even roam around your lips. Mind you, sometimes the customer's sitting on the chair with his eyes closed...Teh Ghey! I mean, it's called a cut for God's sake. We all know what cutting means down in Atlanta, the alleged fa'nook capital of the world according to the legendary Pimp C. Next time a dude says, "I'm bout to get a cut," I'm pausing him.

Any of you guys ever noticed how teh ghey getting a haircut is? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Nobody Wants To Be Black Or White Anymore...

Me and some of my homies have had this conversation several times. 

There was a time when being any type of immigrant just wasn't cool. And I'm Haitian, I should know. Back in the day, kids kept their nationalities or heritage secret. It just wasn't a good look. As far as Haitians are concerned, the tables have definitely turned. Being Haitian is actually kinda cool now. I guess we partly have Wyclef to thank for that. It's not unusual to see random Haitian flags in rap videos. And trust me, the ones doing the waving aren't always Haitian. I saw Young City (formerly known as Chopper) from Making Da Band wearing my flag on his head in Miami last year and asked him if he was Haitian. Dude had the nerve to say yes. His name is Rodney freaking Hill. No deal! Rappers also always brag about being cool with some Goon ass Haitians. 

On another note, it sort of seems like black isn't enough. My homie Ruffian Roni was telling me how a good number of folks he's known for years started claiming a different heritage out of the woodwork. Nobody wants to be black anymore. It's the same thing with white people...at least in urban culture. I've heard plenty of ethnically ambiguous folks disclaim, "I'm not white, I'm not white. Maybe they aren't, but my money (no much) says they are. 

What do you guys think? Similar stories to share? Beg to differ?